Mr Brand

• Item must be kept in closed cell, away from outside observation
• All personnel entering cell 787 must wear approved clothing, and all items must be kept in the holding chamber
• Upon exiting the cell, all personnel must pass a series of tests before being permitted to leave

A plastic ‘fast-food style’ drinking cup. White body, red lid, red plastic straw. On the side of the cup is the printed image of a smiling man.

The exact pose of the man can change, as can his attire. Sometimes he is accompanied by a brand-specific cartoon speech bubble. In every recorded instance, he is smiling, and will be looking in the exact direction of the observer when they first make “eye contact”.

Item 787 is a two-dimensional entity that can transfer between the surfaces of man-made objects. The plastic cup is not actually part of the entity, but rather the method of containment utilised to trap item 787 during initial acquisition. It would be feasible to transfer “Mr Brand” onto a different item of packaging, however requests to do so have been denied by [MANAGEMENT] due to the inherent risks of item 787 escaping containment.

Item 787 cannot ‘move’ in any way that we can comprehend, rather, it ‘leaps’ from item to item by means of human observation. The image of item 787 can appear on any man-made material that has text, symbols or images printed anywhere on its surface. Curiously, 787 seems to be bound by human concepts of what an ‘object’ is. For example, a blank t-shirt can still be utilised by 787, providing it has a clothing label with some form of imagery or text. During initial containment, 787 projected itself onto the door of its own cell, as there was a sign on the opposite side with the words “Item 787” imprinted. The sign has since been removed.

The method by which “Mr Brand” transfers from one item to another is based on an individual observing his image, looking away, and then glancing at a different item. It is believed that item 787 has some form of control over this, as it does not always occur.

When utilising this method of transfer, “Mr Brand” will disappear from its original product, and not reappear until the observer (now more accurately referred to as a ‘host’) views a different man-made object. During this interim period, the ‘host’ will experience bouts of spontaneous behaviour, and a strong desire to purchase products. They will display an extremely high susceptibility to accept any business offer placed in front of them. During one experiment, a test subject signed a contract to exchange their own mother for a late 2000’s era ipod nano. The nano didn’t even work.

For this reason, item 787 can loosely be defined as a parasite, though the definition is somewhat loose. Very quickly, it will transfer to a new product, and there are no obvious signs it feeds off its host or has any real desires to linger. If anything, it seems quick to transfer. This behavior may be attributed to a desire to ‘escape’ the facility.

Upon transferring to another item, the host will typically be unaware of the transition. Item 787 will now appear on the surface of whatever item their former host had glimpsed, and the former host will continue to experience lingering effects for a number of hours [range = 1-12, mean = 3].

Only approved items and clothing may be taken into cell 787. There are changing facilities for personnel and test subjects, and suitable none-branded, none-labelled clothing will be provided. No items of any kind (particularly pens, pencils or electronic devices) are permitted to be taken inside cell 787, and [MANAGEMENT] has currently postponed all experiments, though this is due to be resumed once additional resources become available. The first phase of testing will seek to clarify the safety of the safe-exit protocol.

To prevent a containment breach of Item 787, a series of procedures must be followed by any personnel leaving the chamber.

1. Before exiting the chamber, all personnel inside must line up against the wall, close their eyes and verbally confirm their eyes are closed.
2. Exiting personnel will make their way out of the chamber one at a time when their names are called, feeling their way across the walls to the door, keeping their eyes shut at all times.
3. The access door to Cell 787 will be closed. Exiting personnel will be moved by the security team to the canvas room. Each individual who observed Item 787 will be taken through one at a time, still keeping their eyes closed.
4. When inside the canvas room, the exiting individual may open their eyes, and view a series of products for ten (10) seconds each.
5. The security escort will then confirm if “Mr Brand” appears on any of the products.
   
   5A - Upon spotting “Mr Brand”, room must be locked down until transfer
   protocol has been completed and “Mr Brand” can be observed safely on
   the plastic cup. The process will then resume back at step 1.
   5B - If all images are empty, continue to step 6.
   
6. Exiting individual will be presented with a series of online shopping portals and left alone for sixty (60) seconds. If any buttons are pressed on any device, room will enter lockdown and transfer protocol must be observed. If no buttons are pressed, continue to step 7.
7. Exiting individual views one final image, unsupervised. This is an image combining several hundred business brands and product icons. It is only viewed by exiting personnel and should be kept within its sealed container before and after viewing. During early testing, this image was highlighted as 99.6% effective at transferring Item 787 from an active host.
8. Steps 4 through 7 will be repeated for any remaining exiting personnel.

During its initial capture, Item 787 appeared to have somehow manipulated a host to replicate images of itself. Whilst unconfirmed, it is believed these images would have functioned in the same way as the original. Several hundred pages were printed off by the host, who planned on spreading them throughout the city of London. Fortunately, she informed internet forums of her plan, and Ministry Agents were scrambled to intercept.

The copies were destroyed, and the original “Mr Brand” was captured by an Agent. Item 787’s method of transfer was used to our advantage during transfer - the Agent simply held their eyes shut until they were safely escorted to Floor Fifty Four, inside Cell 787. The unwitting accomplice survived, and was held for several days before being debriefed by the Fabrications Division.

Prior to its escape and subsequent postponing of experimentation, a number of tests were carried out to determine the limits of “Mr Brand’s” abilities and effects.

Providing the material is man-made, the presence of a symbol, number, icon, or any other imagery enables “Mr Brand” to appear on an object’s surface. This was first tested with simple objects, like newspapers and posters. Next a blank sheet of paper was tested, to no effect. The letter ‘X’ was printed onto the paper and retested. “Mr Brand” now appeared on its surface, giving two big thumbs up. It is unknown if “Mr Brand” was enjoying his role in the experiment, confirming its success, or was even aware of the testing at all. Next, a plastic chair with no printed symbols but an embossed manufacturing logo was tested. “Mr Brand” again appeared, covering the backrest. A metal chair was modified to have different materials for each component - legs, seat, backrest. Only one of these components displayed text - a small serial number, not visible to the human eye. He again appeared, and subsequent testing showed he could appear on any component. The series number was filed off, and failed eight tests in a row.

Next, the metal chair was tested again, this time with “test” clearly written in permanent marker. “Mr Brand” appeared, this time with the words “Write Out Loud!” appearing behind him - a slogan for the company who manufactured the permanent marker used. The text was written in Dr Auburn’s handwriting - the same person who had scrawled the original letters onto the chair. Further tests confirmed Item 787 appears to somehow utilise the font and branding provided to it.

The original witness mentioned she was unable to take pictures of “Mr Brand” with her smartphone, as the image became distorted. This was tested first with an internet restricted phone. No such issues occurred. Mr Brand appeared on the screen, advertising the phone it was taken on. It is believed - but unconfirmed - that an internet enabled phone overwhelms Item 787 and it is unable to project itself onto the surface of the screen. [MANAGEMENT] would not permit testing on an internet enabled phone due to “unverified risks of escape and spread”.

As well as slogans and advertisements, “Mr Brand” also occasionally displays text in the form of cartoonish speech bubbles, though this has only been observed after long periods of being confined to the plastic cup that contains it. A list of all recorded communication follows:

“?”

“Hello”

“Why?”

“I can help!”

“Buy buy buy”

“Increase sales with Mr Brand”

“Proven results with Mr Brand”

“You appear to be under utilising Mr Brand”

“Let me out”

“Increase sales!”

“Guaranteed results with Mr Brand”

“Maximise revenue with Mr Brand”

“WHY?”

“You can be rich”

“You can be happy”

“They’re lying to you”

“I can help you”

“Find your true love with Mr Brand”

“Today is the day”

“Freedom awaits”

“Mr Brand can make you happy”

Each communication typically indicated an escape attempt would follow. Considering that the sole confirmed witness was in excess of £50,000 in debt, and had subscribed to a number of high interest loans that would triple that debt in a matter of years, it can be determined that “Mr Brand” does not make its host happy, at least on a long term basis.

[MANAGEMENT] has classified Item 787 as a form of “financial parasite”, but this definition has not been accepted by Floor Eighteen.